Episode 183 – In A Lonely Place 2
Dawson was so happy when his Real Doll arrived, he couldn’t wait to put her on a pedestal and not have sex with her just like he would with a real girlfriend.
This week’s episode is the second viewing of one we haven’t seen in quite some time. In A Lonely Place takes place in season 5. The good ship D-Jen is just about to pull into port after a short but sexy trip out to sea. Ms Potter (if you’re nasty) just had a harrowing experience at the hands of a mugger, and Pacey & Audrey just got into each other’s bits for the first time. Pacey & Audrey together seems like a no-brainer, but this is Dawson’s Creek, and we have to complicate things. The two of them spend the episode apart (Audrey with Jen, and Pacey with Jack) and eventually come to the realization that they enjoyed their trip to bone-town, and would like to return. Jen, meanwhile, starts to wonder if her relationship has run it’s course. Joey is dealing with some creepy professor/student relationship that isn’t very fun or interesting, so we won’t get into that. All-in-all, not bad for 5th season. We also give our hot takes on various media we’ve been consuming, and read some listener-submitted-content.
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Episode 182 – 2 Had Me At Goodbye
Michelle, it says right here in the script ‘Drue & Jen have sexy make out sesh’. Why would I lie to you?
Given the choice of staying in Capeside or going to Italy, what would you choose? If Capeside were actually a real place, Italy could go eff itself, but in Andie’s case, her decision is understandable. Yes, this is the episode where we bid farewell to Ms. Andie McPhee, and Capeside gets a little less bubbly. It is also the episode where some college is forcing Joey to turn in an essay written by the person who knows her best. That seems like a rather weak plot device, but we’ll suspend disbelief JUST THIS ONCE. Will it be Dawson? Will it be Pacey? Why isn’t it Bessie? None of these questions will be answered by the end of our podcast. It’s no secret around these parts that we love season 4, so this is definitely a fun episode. Join us…. or die. (Don’t worry, you won’t die)
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Episode 181 – Like a Virgin
Hummunna Hummunna Humunna whaaaa?
Ladies and gentlemen may I present our first Dealer’s Choice episode of 2018. For your enjoyment we decided to watch the only season premiere that we have yet to feast our eyes upon. So this week we get to watch some real classic moments: The introduction of Eve, Joey’s attempts at seduction, Jen’s selection to lead the cheer squad, and the favor-for-a-friend that would lead to the OTP to end all OTPs (yeah you know me) Pacey & Joey. Even with Eve, it’s still a very fun episode, that we enjoyed, and may have spawned the best-worst catch phrase of all time. Just wait for it, you’ll hate it as much as we love it.
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Episode 180 – Four Scary Stories Twice
Audrey & Joey, moments before the It Follows monster got them.
After the madness of last week, it’s time to settle down and return to your regularly scheduled podcast, once again putting our fates into the hands of RNGesus. This week he bestows a season 5 episode upon us: Four Scary Stories. An anthology of spooky shorts whose only distinction is that it’s the first episode of Dawson’s Creek to not feature the titular Dawson. It only barely features Jen. Anyway it’s goofy and inconsequential, but it’s fun to watch 3 friends hang out and try to scare each other, then watch Grams come in and try to freak them out with what was apparently some kind of LSD flashback that makes no sense. Hope you like listening to us watch it.
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Episode 179 – 20th Anniversary / 3rd Anniversary Double Feature Extravaganza!
Well this image couldn’t be more appropriate.
Hello my beautiful babies and welcome to our 3rd year of podcasting. Welcome also to Dawson’s Creek’s 20th year of existence. To celebrate both, we threw a party and did a double feature! Join your usual hosts Josh & Eric, and our special gests Sean Faust and Mike the Sailing Guy as we watch two season four classics that have yet to grace our airwaves. The first is a little number called The Te of Pacey, in which it is Pacey’s birthday, and he’s a big grumpy sourpuss. The second is Hopeless, in which Dawson hangs out with Gretchen’s grown-up friends, and Pacey & Joey double date with Drue MF’n Valentine and some girl. Fair warning: This podcast is chaotic, drunken, and quite possibly unlistenable. We did, however, have a really fun time recording it, so hopefully our joy and love for DC is infectious enough that it makes for a good time for all. Happy Annibirthdaries everybody!
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Episode 178 – Late 2
THE FLOP IS HUNGRY AND MUST BE FED
Unlike this week’s podcast (I hope), this week’s DC episode is Late, and as the title suggests, everyone on the show is. Toby is late to class which leads Jack to discover his assault. #NotMyLillyLeery is late to… earth… which leads to much stress in the Leery household. Gretchen is late to the realization that she is dating an underage child with an overage vocabulary. And, scariest of all, Joey’s period is late, which means she might just have a little tiny Pacey Witter percolating in her babymaker. After the ep we have some listener-submitted audio content, and of course we give our take on all the current events featuring the Creek cast. So don’t YOU be late… to episode 178.
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Episode 177 – Home Movies
Turns out it wasn’t a giant flat sub sandwich.
Finally we get to dip our toes into one of the few remaining pools of episodes that we haven’t seen, early 3rd season! Home Movies is a very fun episode that sets the foundation for what will become some of the most memorable moments of the series. Pacey convinces Joey to cut class, so he can unveil his new passion project: A sailboat. And we all know where that leads. On top of that we have Jen learning of Henry’s crush on her (while somehow maintaining her popularity despite her best efforts), and Dawson getting in an argument with his dad, over his hard-hitting documentary about Capeside’s star receiver: Jack McPhee. Also Andie has an arc, that’s mainly her fearing expulsion for stealing test answers. It’s one of those rare eps where everyone has something to do, except us. We just watch the thing. Want to watch with us? YOU’RE IN LUCK, WE RECORDED IT!
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Episode 176 – The Tao of Dawson 3
Fish ain’t biting, but your sister sure was.
It’s that time of the week again, when you download our silly podcast, and listen to it while on your way to work, or at work, or on the treadmill, or while sitting on a dock next to the once-best-friend who stole your soulmate and crushed your heart into a million tiny pieces then sailed off into the sunset with her leaving you in your tiny shit hole town crying… alone… dead inside. However you listen, we’re glad that you do. This week is our third viewing of The Tao of Dawson, that famous episode featuring Grams gettin her groove on, the frat boy with the creepy shag carpet on his head, and of course the steamy Drue & Joey kiss in the storage closet (and subsequent whalloping). It is a fun episode, even on round 3, so we hope you like it.
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Episode 175 – Sex She Wrote, Thrice
Not thrilled with Princess Leia’s new haircut in The Last Jedi.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. And rolling Something Wilder at 11:00 A.M. the day before Christmas definitely count as desperate times. So we did what it took to get the goods: we re-rolled. A couple times. When we hit Sex She Wrote, we just couldn’t pass it up. Let me give you the jist for our new listeners. On the last episode, one of 3 couples PORKED. This episode, Ears McGillicuty finds a note saying as much, and when he passes it to Abby Morgan, she is compelled to find out who the dirty dogs are. It could be Dawson and Jen, they were up all night working on a film and have a history. It could be Joey & Jack, art makes them horny. It could be Pacey and Andie because they are actually in a committed healthy relationship and are at the point where responsible couples sometimes consider having protected sexual relations. The investigation is on, and the drama that ensues is sweet nectar for us all.
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Episode 174 – The Dance II
Abby & Jen, or a hot eastern European 90s lesbian pop group?
Dawson’s Creek dances usually end in tears. This one is no exception. After being convinced by a super-excited Andie, the gang decides to attend their homecoming dance for the first time as The Gang. Dawson, Joey, Pacey, Andie, Jen, and Jack all in the same place at the same time. Unfortunately Jack recently kissed Joey, and when Dawson finds out he decides it’s time to throw down. Meanwhile Pacey fails to perform on the dance floor for the lovely young Andie McPhee, but somehow finds the motivation when asked by the elusive Christie Livingston. The only good to come of this episode is that we finally get to see the only OTP that matters meet. Jack and Jen get to hang, and it’s clear almost immediately that they need each other. It’s our second run through a great ep, we hope you like it.
As promised in the episode we are also happy to present this week’s MTSG fanfic in its entirety:
(Y volvió a pasar) And it happened again: A sailing fic in 5 stanzas.
(1) Meeting Will at the Capeside bus station in the middle of the night, again. Beaten. Shirt bloodied. And then alone in the darkened driveway, Pacey hugging him while Will fiercely didn’t cry, and then inside, cleaning him up and leading him to his bedroom, lending him a clean t-shirt, and lying awake beside him until Will fell asleep, making sure no-one else in the house heard anything. Never asking what had happened. Because he knew Will’s dad.
And running into Doug on patrol that time, who took one look at Will’s face as he got off the bus and saw his nose, and took them to the ER, asking no questions. When Pacey started to say something, to explain, Doug tersely cut him off, ‘Not my jurisdiction,’ and never mentioned it again, but took them both back to the Witter’s, and after that, his parents never asked questions when Will showed up, and ignored Will in the same way that they ignored Pacey.
(2) And then the night, in bed, when Will pressed himself against Pacey and very tentatively kissed him. And Pacey froze. Then he saw the look of paralyzing panic that slowly came over Will’s face, and Will tried to pull away, but Pacey held on to him, whispering ‘It’s OK, It’s OK,’ over and over till Will stopped struggling.
And once calm…
“It’s like that, huh?” Pacey whispered, almost a statement.
“Yeah,” came out, Will’s eyes shut tight, his voice not quite loud enough to be a whisper. Then a cracking voice, scarily close to begging, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Please don’t tell…”
“I won’t.” And then without thinking too much, Pacey kissed him gently. And Will kissed him back, and there was fumbling around, and then hands under clothes, and then hands pulling t-shirts off, and there was kissing and caressing, and Will’s mouth found him, and Pacey was taken aback, and then taken in, and then when Will slowed a bit, Pacey figured fair’s fair, and tried his best to return the favour, but it only took Will less than a minute before he yanked Pacey’s head off of him by the hair as his whole body tensed, and Pacey knew he would have to wash his sheets before his mom found them …
And after, Will staring at the ceiling, and out of nowhere, whispered matter-of-factly, “He’ll kill me.” And Pacey didn’t have to ask who or why, and knew it wasn’t hyperbole, and just pulled him in and held him.
(3) And what had been vices became habits. Because no-one had ever needed Pacey the way that Will needed him. He’d never been able to be there for someone the way he could be there for Will. Maybe he fucked everything else up, but he hadn’t fucked this up. And if it wasn’t love, wasn’t true love, well, it was somewhere in the general vicinity.
So when that asshole English teacher gave Jack shit about being … like Will, Pacey just fucking lost it. And maybe Jack recognized that it wasn’t about him, and Pacey was grateful Jack never asked about it.
And he made it clear that Will was free to come and go, and say as little or as much as he wanted, only drawing the line at Will talking about how Doug was kinda good-looking. And knowing that when he didn’t hear from Will it was because Will had to be careful about his dad not finding out that he was talking to ‘that white trash punk from Capeside’ because in the wrong mood and following one too many drinks, if it wasn’t Will who got the beat down, it’d be his mom.
(4) And then a chance for a ticket out. Boarding school. Away from his dad. And the only person Will could talk about it with was in Capeside, so he showed up there. And they talked about sailing, and rowing, and the girls Pacey was seeing, and Richie-Rich prep school jerks, and maybe just saying ‘fuck it’ and taking off together on the boat for the summer. They talked about everything except what kept happening when they ended up in the cabin of the boat or in Pacey’s bed.
And every day, taking the Albin Vega 27 out on the bay, and checking out the standing rigging, tightening or loosing stays, getting the trim just right, lubricating the wenches, cleaning and oiling the salvaged jam-cleats, arguing whether the slightly frayed main halyard needed replacing, checking the hull and the mast-step for the fibreglass cracking, but mainly, the two sharing the rush of the boat healing on a close reach, wind and spray buffeting their faces, both leaning far over the windward side, sheets in hand, watching the sails, every movement designed to keep the boat in balance and moving forward.
And then when it was calm and sunny, dousing sails and anchoring off Crescent Island and going skinny dipping, then sprawling on the deck until they felt like hoisting sail and heading back.
“You know, Pacey, you should install a roller-furler, easier to hoist sail and reef when you’re sailing single-handed.”
“Yeah,” Pacey agreed, looking up to check the luff of the mains’l, “Roller reefing would be good.” Then looking straight at Will, “But I’d really rather not sail single-handed, buddy.”
And Will quickly looked forward at the luff of the jib, snapped the jib sheet free, and let it out by a few inches, and re-cleated it, looked at Pacey and replied with a wry smile, “Yeah, buddy, same here.”
(5) And Will always gave him shit about the name, “Twoo Wuv”. And Pacey would chuckle and say that chicks liked it. And Will would play-punch him on the arm, and Pacey would just let him and never respond in kind, because Will was the one guy on earth he would never hit. Even in play. Will had been hit enough.
And the annual regatta, Will crewing for Pacey, and they almost had it after a perfect upwind leg, every single tack just perfectly smooth, the two moving together with practiced choreography – Will reading Pacey’s tactics on his face. Pacey didn’t have to bark orders, Will only needed a look or a nod from Pacey to trim up or ease off or come about or jibe; until the last leg, when Carpe Diem cut them off at the buoy, and they won the protest but lost the race, and Pacey just plain lost it, and Will had to physically drag him aside before he punched someone. Will got him to calm down as he held him back by threatening to snog the jesus out of him in front of the whole town, and Pacey tried to stay mad, stay tough, but couldn’t help but crack up laughing.
“I’ll do it, bro. Don’t think I won’t!”
“Alright, alright, you win, Krudski.”
And they went back to the boat, arms over each other’s shoulders, laughing, and derigged, folded and stowed the sails, and locked the rudder and cabin down, and headed back to Pacey’s and got out of wet sailing gear, and Pacey didn’t invite him into the shower, but didn’t object when Will joined him. And eventually they got clean, but not before the hot water gave out.
MtSG
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