Episode 163 – Separation Anxietwo
MFW… pretty much just my face all the time now.
It’s been a bummer week, and we’ve got a bummer episode. Separation anxiety is the one that takes place immediately after promicide. Meaning Pay-Jo have split, Gretchen is about to split, and Grams is bankrupting herself to put Jen through school. On the bright side, this is two season 4 episodes in a row. Two eps with Drue, and Gretchen, and it contains some of our favorite moments with Jack, and Jen/Grams. So sweep all the bad news aside, plug us in your ears, and let to us make juvenile penis jokes, and stream-of-consciousness ramblings directly into your brain. Please. We need this.
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Episode 162 – The Two of Dawson
The smirk that launched a thousand ships. Or maybe just one. And we ship it hurrrd.
Lao Tzu once wrote: ““A good traveler has no fixed plans and is not intent on arriving.” I don’t know what that means, but it would look great in fancy script over a heavily filtered picture of a pretty girl’s back as she leads the cameraman by the hand into the sunset. Lao Tzu also got a writing credit on this week’s episode, The Tao of Dawson. It’s true, look it up. Anyway, this week finds us with 3 story arcs. Big D is digging on Gretchen hard, and he’s learning the best way to get them digits, is to do nothing. Pacey meanwhile is escorting Gretchen to her old college haunt to pick up her truck, and comes face to face with her ex-wig model, whom he learns is a bit of a douche. The C story is that Joey and Drue get trapped in a closet overnight and surprisingly don’t fall in love. Jack’s around to offer advice, and Jen is off doing molly at a Phish concert, so she unfortunately does not appear in this episode. We also read an email from Mike, and dramatically interpret movie reviews from 2002. You won’t want to miss it.
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Episode 161 – 100 Light Years From Home
One Tree Still
Hello Creek of the Weeklings! The great Stupin, in his infinite wisdom, decided to make the centennial episode of Dawson’s Creek a vacation ep, heavily promoting another WB TV show, and who are we to say if that was a good or bad idea? Whatever the case, the episode may be dumb, but it’s just dumb good fun, that breaks up the boredom of most of season 5. Basically Pacey, Jack, Jen, Joey, and Audrey are heading down to Audrey’s parent’s vacation home in Florida for some fun in the sun, while Dawson is doing something boring with Oliver. Audrey and Pacey fight, Charlie shows up unannounced, and Jack spends the weekend hammered out of his gourd. Meanwhile Oliver convinces Dawson to chase after the object of his desires (Joey) because he doesn’t realize the toxic nature of their relationship. I’m doing a bad job of describing it, but just listen and it will make sense. Trust me, have I ever steered you wrong? Don’t answer that.
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Episode 160 – Abby Morgan R.I.P II
Grams just heard that you haven’t rated and reviewed us 5 stars on Itunes. Don’t you feel bad?
What can we say about Abby Morgan? She liked to stir the pot, she had a softer side that we’d catch the occasional rare glimpse of, and of course, that she was a dime. But the star that burns the brightest burns the… burns… the star won’t get burned again. Cuz she’s dead. In this episode we get to see the gang’s first experience with death (definitely not the last). With the exception of Jen there is kind of a “meh” vibe among everyone, until Andie get’s roped into giving a eulogy by Abby’s grieving mother. Jen, of course, is having a freak out, the brunt of which she is taking out on her innocent grandmother. We love this episode. There is no DJ drama, no Pandie drama, it’s just the gang dealing with a real world situation as teenagers would have to deal with it. It was a pleasure to watch the second time around, and we hope you like it as well.
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Episode 159 – Highway 2 Hell
The only thing more uncomfortable than a road trip in the back of a Mustang, is if you are Charlie Todd, and Pacey is in the front seat.
We’re back again for another randomly selected episode of Dawson’s Creek, and this time we are revisiting a classic from 5th season. OK, I may be sugarcoating it a bit. Highway to Hell is a road trip episode, in which Pacey, Audrey, Joey, and everyone’s favorite aggressively mediocre side character Charlie, head to a road gig up north. Joey gets to sing, Pacey & Audrey get to bang, and Charlie gets to remain sexually frustrated… hopefully forever. Meanwhile Dawson, Jen, and Jackers are attending Lily’s first birthday party, when Jen decides this would be an opportune time to kick Big D to the curb. Everybody has fun, and we are there to gently guide you through it all, like Dawson’s Creek sherpas.
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Episode 158 – Kiss
On some movie nights, Dawson & Joey just stare into a halogen lamp.
What a pleasant surprise to roll up one of the 2 remaining episodes from the first season of Dawson’s Creek that we haven’t watched on this podcast. Kiss is an episode of firsts. First kisses for Dawson & Joey (not to each other), and first time being the victim of sexual assault to Pacey. So it’s a mixed bag. If you can overlook the adult predator preying on the teenage boy though, the episode is really pretty great. Good DJ banter, good PJ banter, and it looks like Helmets of Glory is an Oscar contender for sure. We also talk a bunch of nonsense and cover the day’s current events.
Also mentioned in the episode was the need for a “Hitler Reacts” video to the Dawson’s Creek finale. So I made it, and here it is in all it’s amateur Windows Moviemaker glory.
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Episode 157 – Cigarette Burns
The Man,. The Myth. The Legend. Clifton M’F’n Smalls. And “small” he is not.
This is a special Creek of the Week episode, for this week we have a very special guest. Sean Faust from the What Does It Matter? Podcast joins us for the second time. In our benevolence, we decided to grant him his choice of episodes, and surprisingly he picked one from season 5. Though 5th season is a mine field of awful episodes, we think he managed to pick a fine one that is heavy on style, if not chock full of important plot points. Dawson is presenting a screening of the movie he directed (written by Oliver), and the whole gang is invited. Audrey is lying about her sexual conquests to Pacey. Joey is flirting with Charlie. And Jen is reeling from her breakup with Dawson, and the knowledge that her grams is dating again. Jack is also around to provide the necessary bad 5th season awful haircut. We watched the Creek, we cracked wise, we drank too much and stayed up too late. Good times were had!
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Episode 156 – Two Gentlemen of Capeside
Dawson Leery: Norse Metal God
Hey Sailors, we’re back with your weekly Creek. We are finally out of our rut and rolled up a fantastic episode from 4th season. Two Gentlemen of Capeside begins with Dawson, Joey, and Drue being forced to do a group assignment for class, and ends with Dawson staging a daring marine rescue of Pacey and Jen. Tensions, both sexual and otherwise, run high all episode, but in the end True Love prevails. Except the boat True Love. It does not prevail. Also, bonus points for surly Mr. Brooks, bitchy Ms. Valentine, and Andie McPhee handling a crisis like a boss.
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Episode 155 – Something Wilder
Does this need a caption? Jen screenshots are the best.
So yeah, we may have fudged the rolls a bit, and it may have taken 3 tries to get it, and it may be 5th, but at least it isn’t 6th season! VICTORY! To be honest, we always assumed Something Wilder was a garbage ep, much like Something Wild. However, we found that, considering the episodes around it, it was actually kinda fun. Dawson is trying to make a movie while engaged in a cute romantic phase with Jen. Joey has to choose between the nice guy she should be dating, and the professor she should definitely not be. Pacey is flitting around offering advice. And Jack is actually going through some heavy stuff, facing academic probation and stress from his fraternity. It is a surprisingly interesting and fun episode and a welcome respite from the last-season doldrums. Totally carried by Jen & Jack, I might add. Now velcro up your trapper keepers and let us take you to school.
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Episode 154 – Everything Put Together Falls Apart
This scene alone might have earned Kerr Smith the award for our favorite cast member turned director.
The strange pattern continues, and we are back to season six. Thankfully we get to watch one of the few from that season that we haven’t seen yet, which brings us to Everything Put Together Falls Apart. A-plot features Joey and Eddie heading down to bone town, which causes Joey to miss her important test. She fails, and naturally takes it out on the boy who boned her down when she should have been boning up on her test taking skills. B-plot consists of Pacey taking the lovely maybe-British Emma to a sleazy stockbroker party where there is a pool going on who has the hottest date. Emma turns out to be a handful and Pacey has to wrangle her, while not pissing off his jerk boss. Fun! C-Plot is Dawson worried about his actress girlfriend cheating on him with a more famous actor, woohoo? We comment with excellence and precision as usual, so even though it’s sixth season, you’re in for a ride. Buckle up.
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