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Episode 282 – Love Letters

Apr 14, 2021

In one scene Jocelyn out-fashions both Moira and David for the whole series. Bravo!

This week your hosts battle technical difficulties and a time crunch that leads them to cram their usual 45 minutes of hijinks into a half hour. Why am I speaking in third person? There’s no “them” here, it’s us, that is; me! Did I just use that semicolon correctly? I’m going to be honest, I’m a 42 year old man and that is the first time I’ve attempted to use one. What a rush! You know what else is a rush? Getting robbed at finger-point, which is what happens to David in this week’s episode. Simultaneously, Moira takes a bunch of Bosnian speed, and there’s something about love letters that we mostly talked over. You know, having reread this I don’t think I used the semicolon correctly. Welp, tried and failed, never going to make that mistake again. Just commas for me from here on out. Never put yourself out there folks, nothing but regret in it for you.

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Episode 281 – The Crowening

Apr 7, 2021

If only Brandon Lee were still around to see his creation perfected.

A new season begins, and it begins with a bang. Moira is off filming her movie (The titular Crowening), while the rest of the fam holds down the fort. Alexis and David are having a friendly competition to see who has the spicier relationship, while Johnny is not doing well in his wife’s abscence. Your hosts barely register any of this as they can’t stop jabbering about completely unrelated topics as the show plays in the background. Welcome to Creek of the Week, what a dumb concept for a podcast.

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Episode 280 – Merry Christmas, Johnny Rose

Mar 24, 2021

This is a picture of Eugene Levy in bed.

Merry Christmas, everyone. I realize it’s March, but we can’t control where the episodes fall so you’re getting a holiday episode. The technical finale of Season 4, this episode finds Johnny Rose desperately wishing for a holiday party, and the hijinks that ensue around the execution of said party. It’s what you would expect from a holiday episode… it’s fine. Merry St. Paddysmas.

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Episode 279 – Single’s Week

Mar 17, 2021

It’s hard to see in this image, but zoom in to the top left corner and I think that’s a classic coin-op Outrun game cabinet. That’s enough to draw me in to single’s week.

Season finale’s are fun, and even though we technically have one more to go for season 4, this is the spiritual season finale, and it brings all the emotional weight we’ve come to expect from Schitt’s Creek. Alexis is trying to pull off Schitt’s Creek’s Single’s Week, while her family rallies around to help. Except Johnny, he’s busy selfishly worrying about his own business and denying his employee time off to be with his pregnant wife. Roland should unionize. David also receives some stressful but touching news from Patrick, and Moira escorts Jocelyn to the hospital so she can give birth.

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Episode 278 – The Rollout

Mar 10, 2021

Actual screencap from the new Schitt’s Creek FPS dating sim where you play as Ted the Vet in his quest for love.

Hi there. It’s another flawless episode description of a very flawed episode of a podcast covering another flawless episode of Schitt’s Creek. This week pretends like the main plot is a rash breaking out caused by David’s moisturizer that is being given out for free with the new Rose Motel rollout, but the actual main plot is Alexis coming to terms with her own emotions, and gathering the courage to express them. Good for her.

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Episode 277 – Baby Sprinkle

Mar 3, 2021

My suggestion: Fill it with Strawberry Jam and used panty hose.

It is once again time to follow us on our journey into Schitts Creek. This week Jocelyn is throwing a baby shower and cons David into planning it. I don’t know if you’ve been paying attention to David’s aesthetic, but that was not a good decision on her part. Also, Alexis has old friends in town who are not very nice, and they offer her a way out of the Creek.

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Episode 276 – The Olive Branch

Feb 24, 2021

More like ‘Simply the Bozo’ (This joke is a combination of this scene, in which a young woman wears too much makeup, like a clown, and a reference to the famous song that plays during another, more well-known scene at the end of the episode. ((Clearly the author of this joke did not think it was funny enough to stand on it’s own merit, so he over-explained it to try to make the explanation of the joke the actual joke (((Clearly the author is spiraling as he feels compelled to explain every subsequent joke, and where this train wreck will end nobody can say for sure ((((YOU HAVE ENTERED THE FOURTH PARENTHETICAL DIMENSION INSIDE WHICH IS ONLY SUFFERING. TURN BACK, FOOL!)))) ))) )) )

Olive branches are sticks out of which grow olives, or something. That is relevant to this episode of Schitts Creek because out of the “stick” of the Rose Family, grows the “olive” of love. Olive is also an anagram for love, don’t check me just trust me it is. So this week David decides it’s time to reunite with Patrick, but he’s having trouble as Patrick lavishes him with apology gifts. Alexis, meanwhile, gets her college degree, and goes into business with Moira, who inadvertently gets it past the city council. Johnny also buys Stevie some make up, which she hates. That’s Schitt’s Creek, baby!

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Episode 275 – The Jazzaguy

Feb 10, 2021

This episode of our podcast is honeymoon-sweet! Yep it’s one of those weeks.

As this episode airs the week after Den Levy hosts SNL, we start our show talking a bit about that. We then talk about some other lighthearted topics like the unending progression of time drawing us all into irrelevancy and eventual death, plus what TV shows we like. Afterwards we watch an episode of Schitt’s Creek in which David & Stevie scam a hotel out of some free honeymoon swag, Alexis tries her hand at online dating, and Johnny joins the Jazzagals for a session. It’s all lighthearted fun as our skin cracks and wrinkles, our organs shut down, and our minds begin to fade. Death is coming for us all soon enough, but in the meantime this episode is a good way to… kill… about 40 minutes or so.

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Episode 274 – The Barbecue

Feb 3, 2021

Not pictured: 80 other prepared sliders, waiting for the grill. It will make sense when you listen to the episode.

Hello my fellow Schitt-afficianados, welcome to another exciting installment. This week there’s a barbecue in the works to honor of David’s longest relationship ever, and he fears this may be a jinx. He does his best to make his fears come true when he attempts to keep his boyfriend Patrick from attending the barbecue, then perhaps overreacts to a surprise guest from Patrick’s past. Meanwhile Alexis is dealing with an errant text from Ted which leads to possibly the most awkward scene in a televsion series that butters it’s bread on awkward scenes. 10/10, C+ episode.

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Episode 273 – Open Mic

Jan 27, 2021

If thou gaze too long into the abyss, the abyss will also gaze into thee.

This week, on a very special Creek of the Week: A Schitt’s Creek (Formerly Dawson’s Creek) Podcast, or CotW: aSC(FDC)P, as we are called in the industry, we find the Rose’s involved in all kinds of business dealings. Alexis is doing PR work for the motel, and the newfound possibility of success gives Stevie the heebie jeebies. The Stevie Jeebies.. huh. Anyway, also Patrick is trying to drum up business for the store, and decides to throw an open mic night, at which point something magical and romantic happens.

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