Episode 272 – RIP Moira Rose

First of all, take it easy, Moira is not dead. It was just one of those fake social media death things that goes around and is immediately followed by a bunch of the gifs of Denzel Washington putting his hand over his chest and looking relieved. So Moira is not dead, but the world thinks she is, and she soon realizes she enjoys the fringe benefits of being a deceased actress. MEANWHILE, The Rose children are travelling out to a farm to source some fromage (that’s French for “frost mage”) and find themselves in a pickle when it turns out the farmer in question is dating Alexis’ lost love Ted the Vet. What will they do? Probably make funny expressions at each other and act awkwardly adorable, I’m guessing.
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Episode 271 – Girls’ Night

Sometimes a girl’s just gotta blow off some steam. This week Alexis, pining for Ted, decides to distract herself with some townie D, and she takes Twila along to wingman. Meanwhile David is stubbornly refusing to admit his stubbornness, Johnny is fighting with Roland about the hotel lobby, and Moira has an arc but I honestly don’t remember it because I was too distracted by her green wig. I guess you’ll just have to listen to find out. What a tease!
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Episode 270 – Asbestos Fest

Ya’ll seen Bridgerton? Well we talk about it, probably more than we talk about Schitt’s Creek. So get ready for that. Once we get to the episode we are delighted by Moira’s creeping stage fright, David’s fumbling attempts to impress the Schitt’s Creek youths, Alexis’s street smarts in dealing with said youths, and Johnny’s business savvy when taking on a new employee. Then we talk about Bridgerton some more!
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Episode 269 – Pregnancy Test

Uh oh everyone, someone in Schitt’s Creek is knocked up, and for the first 7 minutes or so of this episode it appears to be Alexis. Shortly, however, we find out that she is not the raw-doggin culprit we assumed, and that honor belongs to another. Simultaneously to this action, David is looking for some alone time for his burgeoning romance, and Alexis herself is dealing with the stresses of starting college. Just another day at the Creek, folks.
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Episode 268 – Dead Guy In Room 4

Welcome back to Schitt’s Creek Season FOOOOOUUUUUUUUR. We’re here and we’re doing it, starting at the bottom with a literal corpse. The hotel has a dead guy problem, and the brilliant minds of Schitt’s Creek have to come together to figure out how to get it out. Meanwhile David and Alexis are evicted from their room and have to seek lodging with their respective love interests which leads to all kinds of goofy shenanigans. This show is a gosh darn delight, as are you, dear listener. Merry Holidays to all!
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Episode 267 – Grad Night

Graduation, a time where young people blossom into adults, stretch their wings, and are pushed from the nest and into a world that awaits them with an open maw, ready to grind their bones beneath their teeth, consume their flesh, and defecate their remains into neat piles of stinking refuse on the sidewalks of our society. In other words, a time of celebration! While Alexis finally gets that sweet diploma, Moira is given the opportunity to perform elsewhere. Johnny is super stoked to see his motel filled to capacity, and David is, unbeknownst to him, going on a very sweet date. It’s the season 3 finale, and as usual, it delivers.
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Episode 267 – Friends and Family

Nothing is more important around the holidays than friends and family, except maybe commerce, and this week’s episode is a celebration of both. Moira rescues an artifact of the Rose’s past life while David has a semi-turgid opening of his new store. Alexis, meanwhile, gets good news and has an unexpected moment of celebration. Penultimate season 3 ep this week folks, it’s flyin’ by!
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Episode 266 – Stop Saying Lice!

This week, we got bugs. Alexis finds out that she got head lice from school, which leads to much hijinks as the rest of the family deals with the fallout, except Moira who pretty much just ignores it and deals with her own stuff. David flirts with the idea of flirting with Patrick while Stevie encourages him. And Johnny tries to do a nice gesture for his wife which has mixed results. Your hosts, meanwhile, just enjoy a nice respite from the unending hellworld they find themselves living in (as are we all), and try to chime in with some lolworthy statements here and there. Were they successful? Tune in and find out!
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Episode 265 – Sebastien Raine

You ever have an ex boyfriend want to take pictures of your mom so that he can publicly embarrass her for his own monetary gain? David Rose has, and he isn’t gonna stand for it. Meanwhile Alexis has to volunteer at the retirement community and learns that Ted has been patiently waiting to volunteer that D to her community cervix.
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Ep 264 – The Affair

This week we briefly discuss some fairly unimportant current events that you might have heard of. Then we watch Schitt’s Creek, in which Moira may or may not have gone to pound town with Roland (she didn’t). Alexis tries to flirt with Patrick, and Patrick tries to flirt with David.
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